Pieces of Regrets
by Chaltier
Summary: Akito is always mysterious and secretive. No one knows what kind of feelings does he have inside, right? That’s why; let’s see him from a different perspective! You might change your view of him once you read this hehe.


Konichiwa! BlackHaru-desu!!! ^^ Reminder, this is my first fanfic ever. So if anything is wrong please forgive me ok ^^;;; By the way, story is set not long after the anime finishes. Shounen-ai… -_-;;; It's about Akito actually. I don't know what makes me think this way of him, though he certainly IS one of my favourite characters. Akito is always mysterious and secretive. No one knows what kind of feelings does he have inside, right? That's why; let's see him from a different perspective ok? Please enjoy! J 

~**Pieces of Regrets~**

By BlackHaru

What would you do if you are always by yourself, alone in your room? Me? I would look at myself in the mirror and ask…

What's the use of a large mansion, if there is no one to talk to? What's the use of all these silk clothes, if they can't hide my loneliness? What can wealth eventually bring? I suppose you can't buy health with money. My heart is constantly burning… with hatred. How could you not hate anyone? Ever since I was born, my mother had given me this illness. I can't help myself from blaming others, even though I know it is wrong. I even hate my mother because of this body she had given me… 

Giving birth to me was always a big mistake. Being the heir of Souma Family is not easy. My family is not normal. Monsters are their true form. Frightening, eh? When you think of it, it really irritates me. Having the full-weight of the curse on my back, isn't it unfair? Fortunately, I wouldn't live a long life, so, I don't have to bear this curse for a long time. 

This last question often crosses my mind, though I was never able to answer it.  Why would I be born in such a prominent family, if everyone in this family brings a burden to me? _'No... You are wrong…' I said to myself. There is one… One, whom I never see as a burden. In fact, I am the one who always stand in his way. _

Being sick since you were born makes others feel troubled, especially for him. I felt sorry for him, having to take care of me everyday. Of course, if it is for him, I want to be strong. Every night, he would come to my room to check on my condition. I don't even know since when I become aware of this. ~ _How would you describe this feeling? ~ My heart feels strange whenever I see those eyes. The usual way he would say, '__Are you feeling ok?' Such a beautiful voice melts my loneliness away. I can say he is the closest person to me. Though, I owe him far too much._

Hatori is the one. One and only… I suppose I have no right to say that, since I can't forgive myself for what I have done to him. For the worst, you can say I have 'killed' his heart. Forcing him to erase his beloved's memory, he must have felt the cruelest pain when Kana left him. Fool… how could I lose control of myself at that time? I even ended up blinding his eye. I just can't stand the way he said he is marrying Kana. Suddenly, I felt he was going somewhere far, leaving me behind. I would be alone again, I don't want it! Not anymore… That was why, I didn't let Kana have him. I don't want him to be taken away from me, not ever… 

I didn't know that it would turn out to be like this. I never realized such a devil live within me. I can't forgive myself, what I have done was too malicious. Even up till now, I never admit the sin that I committed. I blamed it on her… It was all her fault. Her fault that she was close to Hatori! Her fault that she decided to come, asking for permission for marriage! How would she expect me to feel after hearing that! Everything was her fault! Yes, I knew it… Everything was because of her…right?

Believe it or not, that is me… The 'me' in the past and the 'me' just a moment ago… I wouldn't see my true form, the one who hurt his own loved one. I kept saying that it was neither my fault nor Hatori's. I kept running away… running away from the bitter truth…

But it hurts me even more whenever Hatori smiled back at me. How could? He didn't blame me at all, not even showed any signs of hatred. Of course I don't want him to hate me. But, if it was to turn out to be like this, then why didn't I let him have his happiness? He deserves it. He wouldn't leave me, would he? _This was how I continued to live since then, drowned in regrets… until one day…_

That day, a high-school girl came to the main house. The unexpected, Honda Tohru, came to talk to me. The person I hate the most, and yet, the one who opened up a new door to me. '_No matter how painful her paths were, she never regretted choosing her own choice.' This was the words that came to my mind back then. Anyone whom I knew had always felt the regret of knowing Souma Family, and had their memories erased in the end. But her… She kept saying how precious those memories are, and that she was happy to know the Souma Family. _

It was a point of no return, I knew it… It was back then that I realized that regret wouldn't bring any meaning to our life. To my loved one, I can't just be apologetic deep in my heart. I made up my mind, from now on, I am the one who should be his 'one'. The one whom he can depend on, the one whom he can share his feelings with. I finally admit, I am the one who sealed his heart a long time ago, and surely I am also the one who will open it again. 

_I can hear it now, those footsteps through the hallway; he is coming…_

~Knock knock…~ "_Akito, tadaima… How are you feeling? Anything hurt?"_

I know it… with the time I still have to live in this world, someday I will, be able to say these words to him. In the moonlight sheltered by curtains, "Hatori, I love you…"

*The end*


End file.
